I had to reply...I feel your pain...I feel “the pain”.  I want to ask you what you mean when you say you “give your all to others”?  How? 

I understand much of what you said pertaining to being humble, treating people equally and getting down to the source of the pain...I understand the weight you referred to and that is no surprise you feel.  Though it’s sad, it’s nice to hear others who are not just “taking pictures from the pretty side”...because there is pain and I believe it needs to be seen/felt so it can go away; to understand it...in all the reflections to be seen/felt...replaying over and over again...in the “past”...and “now”.  I think it’s a vital step to feel “our pain”; “the pain”....for each person to see/feel “their part” of “the pain” for themselves.  To experience it; know it; understand it...to change it.  And there’s a story of one man that took on the weight of the world and allowed it to crush him, creating a reflection of it/pain, and yet, the extreme beauty of love, to be seen/felt...to help us understand...to help us change.  And that also reminds me of a Jackson Browne line, “In the end there is one dance you’ll do alone.”

I give my all by showing my soul to everyone I meet. Sometimes it hurts but I keep on giving. I work for my family by spreading the hope that one day words printed on paper will not be valued more than human life. Your positive responses are the very reason that I am still sane, so thanks, to say the least…

CJ - May 09, 2008 02:41am

I give my all by showing my soul to everyone I meet. Sometimes it hurts but I keep on giving. I work for my family by spreading the hope that one day words printed on paper will not be valued more than human life. Your positive responses are the very reason that I am still sane, so thanks, to say the least…

I think I understand and I think I’m with you...If, for example, your post reflects a piece of what you mean when you say you show your soul to everyone.  And it does hurt when a humble heart is shunned because it can’t be put into an “accepted worldly category”.  And, since you’re here I’m assuming you feel Jack is doing the same..."Sometimes it feels like the heart is no place to be singing from at all.” JJ That’s why I’m here.  To me he’s the first humble being I’ve “seen” and I hope and dream all of us in the world will be the same...soon…

Oh brother.

Quite a few years ago, my husband picked up a book called “Happiness is a Serious Problem”.  At the time, I read it and thought it was so wonderful.  I have 3 copies put away to give my kids when they are older.

You might find this book to be thought-provoking and encouraging.  I don’t even know if it is still in print, but I found it used on amazon.  The author is Dennis Prager.

What’s really interesting to me is that I have not thought about this book in quite a while, and now this is the third time in the last week I have mentioned it to someone. 

I think a lot of the people who don’t respond when you reach out are just fearful.  So they say things like, “oh, brother” to avoid feeling vulnerable.  The fact that you feel this pain so accutely says to me that you are very aware and sensitive, that is a good thing, but it has its price. 

“All at once, the world can overwhelm me, there’s almost nothing that you could tell me, that could ease my mind...”

Just know that you are not alone.

Hope is the only pain killer I ever needed.

whoa

Wow. I wish that was actually worth reading.

lazyguitar - May 19, 2008 04:23pm

Wow. I wish that was actually worth reading.

THANK YOU

I’m sorry for your loss.

One of my biggest questions in life is why do people have to be so mean? Why is it hard to smile at someone you dont know in the grocery store. Why is it so hard to let go of grudges? Im still in high school and look around at all the people i go to school with and i just wonder why they pick on people for being different. Why do girls look you up and down and call you names in their heads. Why is it so hard to love and not hate?

hippychick17 - May 21, 2008 01:19pm

One of my biggest questions in life is why do people have to be so mean? Why is it hard to smile at someone you dont know in the grocery store. Why is it so hard to let go of grudges? Im still in high school and look around at all the people i go to school with and i just wonder why they pick on people for being different. Why do girls look you up and down and call you names in their heads. Why is it so hard to love and not hate?

oh, hippychick, you have a lot to learn. people are afraid to be nice. the biggest problem i see with this post is that it is nonsensical. i can be understanding, but just say it already. i realize that cj was trying to be eloquent, but come on, his greatest pain. i mean i have had a tooth ache and i am pretty sure it hurt worse. okay, that was mean, but there are people out there who have lost there children, young kids who lose their parents, and other sorts of tragedies. i enjoy reading what other people do to help and i appreciate people who do, but cj was a little over the top. don’t give up hippychick, the good people are all around, but it’s okay to have a little sarcasm every once in a while.

Enough pussy footing its eletromagnetic..its real not some big secret we are all trying to keep..when your right yell it dont just wisper it dont be scared tell everyone..how wrong and how much pain you have to go through everyday only when we speak the actual truth..true and plain ..none of this i`ll refer to this and that its eletromagnetic and it hurts like hell. I know i too suffer everyday. im sure a lot of us do in different ways wether we know it or not.

CJ - May 05, 2008 11:08pm

My only goal has ever been to provide for my family in the only way I know. As a mathematician, there is only one way for me to accomplish this beyond a shadow of a doubt: treat every single person with love and respect. Every moment of every day I give my all to complete strangers and treat everyone with compassion and love, as I would my own family members. My heart is ripped to shreds each and every time they look away, but my smile only gets harder and I remind myself to be humble and courageous all at once. My only aim is to promote peace and yet complete strangers look at me with fear or loathing in their eyes. And so I let my face go slack and my demeanor turns stoic so that I can absorb their pain for them. My life is spent trying to read the flows of pain so that I can follow them to their source and experience it for myself. I do so without remorse or hesitation because although my family suffers from their cyclical worry and concern, I know what I must do with every waking moment of my days on this earth. My smile is occasionally bolstered by the passing glance or secretive nod and so I continue forever onwards, seeking all that is pure in my fellow beings hearts. At the end of the day I collapse from the stress and spend my nights in turmoil, trying to organize my dreams so that they might one day help others. I say these words not merely to be heard but to relieve some small part of my pain, if only for a while. Yet despite my pains I can see a wondrous and beautiful light at the end of the long tunnel, a beacon of hope that I long for with every fiber of my being. That radiant sun that I see in my mind’s eye is the logical conclusion to our societies. It is that which we all hope and pray for, the universal good in the world that we are all capable of attaining together. World Peace is what drives me forward and because of people like you I will never have to take the easy way out. Without the power of we there will never be anything that is free. Thank you for your patience and understanding.

I do understand but dont wisper it yell it even if they dont let you get through at least your trying.

socially unconscious - May 06, 2008 08:09pm

i’m the same way, but i don’t feel that pain. i treat everyone i meet like they were one of my best friends. but some people are stubborn. some people don’t like it when i do. but lately more often then not, people smile. it’s nice. ya gotta focus on the postive in this situation. instead of being hurt when people aren’t nice back, take the pride and joy when they do react happily. but what does treating people with love and respect have to do with providing for your family. just make money. that’s all ya need to get by in this strange world we live in. money. money. money. just dirty pieces of paper. nasty, filthy stuff that makes people do some of the most awful things imaginable. well, i’m rambling. much love.

Lucky you if u dont feel that pain..its not that pain..its called electromagnetic..and it hurts like hell. and its cruel.